Just Me, Or is Will Middlebrooks Brining Back Memories of #5?

Boston - Three swings, three extra-base hits and five RBIs. A day after their longest game in six years, the Red Sox needed some energy and the 23-year-old Middlebrooks provided it in an 11-5 victory against the Royals...He swung the bat great,’’ Pedroia said. “Those are professional at-bats and at that age, it’s huge for our team. Very impressive.’’ Middlebrooks has at least one extra-base hit in four straight games to start his career, one of four players to accomplish that since 1918. Oakland’s Yoenis Cespedes did it earlier this season. Enos Slaughter (1938) and Coco Laboy (1969) are the others. Middlebrooks is 8 for 21 (.381) with three doubles, three home runs, and nine RBIs since being called up last Wednesday when Kevin Youkilis went on the disabled list.

I'll say this, I'd give anything to be a 10-12 year old Sox fan right now. Sure the team is just so-so, is coming off a disaster of a year, and the leadership is a mess. Doesn't matter. 

They've got Will Middlebrooks, and it's beginning to feel a lot like 1996-97 all over again. 

That might seem ridiculous, and it's really early, maybe I'll look back in a week, a month, a year, and realize what a jackass I made out of myself, comparing Middlebrooks, a kid with one week of big league activity, to Nomar, one of the most beloved Sox of all time.  Or maybe I'm just grasping at straws, aside from the day to day drama and wondering if this team will ever get above .500 there's been very little in the compelling storylines department this season. But I don't think that's it. 

I see a young, homegrown kid, hitting lasers all over the place. I see a manager with a very uncomfortable decision forthcoming if he keeps it up, and I see myself as a 12 year old, absolutely enthralled with this new all-star in the making, begging my parents to get me his jersey. 

The home grown star, the MVP candidate you've followed since his big league debut, they don't come around often. It's different than a guy you traded for or signed one off-season, no matter how great they may be...they don't really belong to you. They belong to the fan base they just left behind. You take them in as your own, but you weren't there since the beginning...No matter how many great things you witness them do, there's always that missing chapter. You didn't see them realize and learn to harness their potential. It's a ready made product. 

That was part of what was so special about Nomar. He was ours. We watched him come up, suddenly there was this slick fielding shortstop hitting everything in sight, and no one else had a claim on him. He was truly Boston's. Kids learned his pre-batters box routine, his stance, and his sidearm throws from short and mimicked them at little league. 

With any luck we're witnessing the start of the same thing right now. 5th, 6th, 7th graders watching his every move, taking in his game, buying his jerseys (wait til next year kids, he'll have a permanent number then), and copying everything he does. You'll look back in 15 years in realize how fun that was, and how lucky you were to be that age when that type of player came up. 

Clothes Kanye Hates: White People Stuff

HuffPo - On a slow day of tweets, there is no gift in this world like Kanye West's Twitter feed. But to our sort-of delight, Kanye returned to Twitter on Saturday, going on an apparently in-real-time rant about the fashion he saw while driving through five blocks of "the city." (We're assuming he means New York, where he's been hanging out with Kim Kardashian lately.) Among the looks Kanye scorned: "big ass striped scarves," "hoodies with sport coats," "off-brand workout sneakers" and pretty much khaki everything. 

Damn 'Ye, it's like that? I mean, I was with you on like 90% of those, but what the hell did khaki cargo shorts ever do to you? We can't all be rocking Margiela jackets for a cool $G. We don't all got access to that Kardashian money. 

The rest of the stuff was pretty justifiable, sounded like he was just driving through your average hipster neighborhood in New York...But leave my damn khaki cargo shorts alone or it's gonna be problems partner. 

Male Masseuse Sues John Travolta for Offering Him a Hand Job

HuffPo - John Travolta has battled rumors about his sexuality for years, but the actor is now facing more serious allegations from an anonymous male masseur who is suing him for assault and sexual battery. As TMZ is reporting, the unnamed masseur is reportedly seeking $2 million plus punitive damages after Travolta is said to have "began rubbing the masseur's leg, touched his scrotum and the shaft of his penis" after having stripped naked during an appointment. Not only did Travolta allegedly try to have sex with the masseur, but he is also said to have told the plantiff -- identified only as "John Doe" -- that he "got where he is now due to sexual favors he had performed when he was in his 'Welcome Back, Kotter' days," and that "Hollywood is controlled by homosexual Jewish men who expect favors in return for sexual activity." The lawsuit spares few details of the allegedly exchange: when the masseur says he reminded Travolta that sexual acts in exchange for money were illegal, the actor's rebuttal is stated as, "Come on dude, I’ll jerk you off!" The suit also describes Travolta's genitalia as "roughly 8 inches in length" with pubic hair that was "wirey and unkempt." Travolta, who is married to actress Kelly Preston, is said to have later apologized for his behavior. But the lawsuit also alleges he later suggested he and the masseur team up to have sex with "a Hollywood starlet in the building that wanted to have three-way sex and to be double penetrated." Travolta's camp slammed the allegations in a statement to E! Online, calling the case "complete fiction and fabrication." 

Leave a little meat on the bones for a blogger, huh guys? You covered all the basics that an improper blogger such as myself usually covers. Pick a quote, any quote, they're all gold. Fabricated or not, that's one of the funnier celebrity gossip reports I've seen in years. They hardly left anything for me. Description of his genetalia? Check. General styling of his pubic hair? Check. I mean, how often do you read a story about a hollywood star, prominently involving the words "shaft," and "scrotum?" Not often enough. Maybe it's the immature kid in me but those words will crack me up any day. 

Not to mention that I can't help but read the line "Come on dude, I'll jerk you off!" in Travolta's voice...gonna be honest, it seems like something he'd say.

This all kinda makes you wonder what Travolta's career would have been like if he'd just come out long ago, like right after his Grease fame. Seems almost certain he'd have missed out on Pulp Fiction and Face Off, but you have to think it would have opened up whole other genre's that he would have just crushed. I mean, I didn't see it, but I heard he killed in Mama Mia...guy could have gone down as the greatest dancing/show tune singing actor of all time. 

PS: I dare you to look at his IMDB page now and not notice Wild Hogs right away. Sticks out like an 8 inch dick with wirey and unkempt pubes. Makes you wonder if he read the script or took the job based on the title alone.

Man Drilled By Car on Highway, Pulls Perfect Misty Flip

NAILED IT/HIM! 

 Holy shit. Apparently this went down in Russia, where else and the guy didn't die. Just walked it off and went to the hospital with a broken leg, and I'm assuming internal bleeding. Probably didn't even take the ambulance, just drove himself. This happens in America and A) That guy is not getting up B) Jim Sokolove is like two cars back and has been taking notes on the whole thing, and C) It probably doesn't happen because we have things called breakdown lanes. 

Seriously, what the fuck guys, why are you wandering around in the middle of the highway? 

PS: The other kid pulls off the most brilliant move I've ever seen. I had to watch it 3 or 4 times because I was so mesmorized by the first kids aerial the first few times, but watch him alertly jump into the trunk of his car to avoid being impaled by the first car that rear-ends him. Genius.

Lying On Your Resume: Pretty Sure Everyone Now-A-Days Does It

Are people surprised about this? People lie on their resumes because A)Most people are pathological liars that love having pissing matches with each others resume's. B) They put it on there long ago and forgot all about it, and/or started to believe it. These guys nailed that one down. 

As a piddling middle manager I've gotten to hire my fair share of people, and with that I've reviewed mountains of resumes. One thing 90% of them have in common? Hilarious embellishments. We're hiring mainly entry level people, fresh out of college types, and some of the experiences these kids allegedly had during there 3 month internships is truly astounding. I'm talking ground breaking work, creating new efficiencies that saved their employer millions, implementing whole systems themselves, you name it, they've done it. These kids are accomplishing more in their non-paying internship than your average CEO gets done in a year. Dead serious. 

I have half a mind to start sending these resumes to our board of directors with a note saying something like: "Dear Board - Guys, this one's it! This kid is going to lead this company to new heights. I mean, look at his experience with synnergies and efficiencies at his previous job! Increased productivity for the whole company in just 12 weeks! All this and he's just one year removed from delivering pizza's and working at Target as a cashier. Just extrapolating that rate of growth out over a couple years and I think we're looking at the next Steve Jobs here." 

So does it shock me that this CEO at Yahoo completely fabricated an entire college major that didn't even exist? No, not at all. Probably tossed that on there like 15 years ago, got away with it ever since and didn't think to take it off...I mean, he's up for CEO at Yahoo, he's probably figuring work history is enough. If you want to question anything question why a guy that's like 50 years old still lists education on his resume. Again, he's interviewing for CEO! He's probably got plenty of relevant experience.