|Ive said it once I'll say it again, my MS Paint skills are unparalelled|
TORONTO—Season-opening road trips don't seem to agree with the Boston Red Sox. A year after losing their first six games to start the season, the Red Sox finished a 1-5 trip with a 3-1 loss to the Toronto Blue Jays on Wednesday. "That's not the road trip we want," Boston manager Bobby Valentine said, "but we've got a homestand coming up and we'll try to see if we can't get things going in the right direction." Ricky Romero outdueled Jon Lester and Yunel Escobar drove in two runs for the Blue Jays, who took two of three games from Boston. "Obviously it's not the way we wanted to start," Lester added.
Good fucking grief guys...No shit this is not the start or the road trip we wanted. Thanks for the understatement. Did you honestly think anyone out there was looking for the 1-5 start, after the WORST COLLAPSE IN HISTORY, and Beer and Chicken Gate, the Francona Firing, Theo leaving for some Chris Carpenter doppelganger, and John Henry casually tossing out insults to his $142 million left fielder? We know this is a bad start. How about some words of encouragement. How about a fiery clubhouse speech? Give us something!
It's the 100th anniversary of Fenway Park next Saturday, and at this rate, no one is going to give a shit (ok that's lie, many people give a shit, myself included, but I'm using hyperbole here) if the team is DOA.
Bobby - Stop dicking around with the lineup. Can we go back to back games with the same guys, same slots, just once? Try out continuity just for shits and giggles? And I don't know if you're just one of those guys that doesn't like labels or what, but can you sort out the order in the bullpen so they have some semblance of an idea as to when they might be pitching? And while you're at it, shorten up the rotation, we don't need 5 guys for the first month. Who the hell does that?
Beckett, you slightly fat fuck, I'm begging you, show us that you're still kind of a grown man and a leader. Pitch the shit out of this next game or everyone on that slightly capisized boat you see above is going down.
PS: Who'd have thunk the voice of reason here would be the Maestro?