Fox News - The Maryland Mega Millions mystery only got more confusing after a woman who claimed to be one of three winners of a record prize appeared with her lawyer -- and without the ticket. "I have not seen the ticket, nor do I want to see the ticket," said attorney Edward Smith, as Marlinde Wilson, who was an hour late for the news conference, stood behind him. She did not speak...Wilson, 37, earlier told the New York Post the winning ticket was stashed somewhere in the McDonald's restaurant where she works. “I left my ticket there, and it’s somewhere safe that only I know about,” she told the newspaper through a Creole-speaking translator.
So yesterday I thought that Mirlande Wilson had reached the mountain top of Fuck You I Quit Pranks, turns out she was only getting warmed up. Lets take a look at that bolded section again:
“Wilson, 37, earlier told the New York Post the winning ticket was stashed somewhere in the McDonald's restaurant where she works. I left my ticket there, and it’s somewhere safe that only I know about,” she told the newspaper through a Creole-speaking translator.
WOW! She just keeps getting better, keeps digging deeper into her bag of tricks. Not only do her McNugget Frying co-workers not know if they're millionaires or welfare recipients, they've also probably spent the last 48 hours on a WILD scavenger hunt, draining grease traps, scouring air ducts, probably cleaning behind the toilet for the first time of years, just rummaging through years of piss spackle. All for a ticket that is most definitely NOT hidden in a McDonalds. Unless there's a trap door in the bottom of the ball pit that ticket is no where near that McD's, that's a fact, but if you're her co-workers, what choice do you have? These guys are probably pulling 24 hour shifts, working through the night just tearing that place apart. Diabolical. Absolutely Diabolical.
PS: I may not have won the lottery, but I did win a free weeks worth of blog material, so I guess there's that.