My Fox Boston - Forget standing in line for hours, hoping for a scribbled, barely legible autograph on a wrinkled piece of paper. Or jockeying for spots behind the dugout, on the off chance a signed ball or batting glove gets tossed your way. When it comes to souvenirs from your favorite athlete, the retweet is where it's at these days. "@SHAQ the real superman, can i get a birthday retweet from the most dominant big man of all time?" "It's my birthday and all I want is for @KingJames to tweet me !! "@Donald_Driver80 I love you so much. I have a piece of your jersey, I want more. I want(need) an RT from you. See ya in a lambeau leap!! "@serenawilliams please don't let me go 0-5 for (hash)serenafriday RT from my favorite female tennis player?"
These people are tools. Absolute tools. Every time I see a "can I get a RT from (fill in the blank celebrity), it's my (fill in the special occasion)," I get irrationally angry. I'd rather the celebrity tweet back, "No, you can't, get some real friends so they can sing you happy birthday, you loser." That would make me so unbelievably happy. What's the best case scenario here? The minimum wage intern or posse member that handles the celebrities twitter account clicks RT? Big fucking whoop, congrats.
I honestly hate the internet these days, and it's not just Retweet requests, its these awful "meme's," wow, you're so clever, you figured out how to caption a picture!
It's rage comics that make no fucking sense. Congrats, you have the motor and drawing skills of a 4 year old.
It's these ridiculous six frame "What I do, what people think I do, yada fucking yada, poster things.
And finally, pictures of food on facebook...Yea, I ate dinner tonight too, I'm just not naive enough to think that the meal I ate off my coffee table while watching American Idol was newsworthy.
CUT IT OUT PEOPLE, YOU'RE MAKING ME HATE THE INTERNET.