Are we just assuming crow tastes bad? I’m serious, has anyone checked this for it’s veracity? I mean the most detailed background for this belief that I could find was some mumbo-jumbo on wikipedia about a book from 1851...I'm pretty sure back in 1851 people believed the world was flat, and the Mayans were looked at as prophets, we might want to check the accuracy on some of these old claims.
For a long time I assumed crab Rangoon was fucking gross. Turns out I love the stuff…I don’t think I’ve ordered Asian food in at least 3 years without adding a side of it…I’m not saying crow is going to taste like crab Rangoon, that’d be ridiculous…just saying that it’s probably not all that bad. I really don’t think its that crazy, Rabbit is served as an upscale meal at some restaurants, so don’t get all high and mighty on me, if we’re going to eat one vermin, we should try them all.
I mean, I tried moose meat last year, and let me tell you, the phrase should probably be, eating my moose, because that stuff was awful. I basically had to smother it in half a bottle of Sweet Baby Ray’s (original, of course) and mixed in some pepper and onions, and I still couldn’t get by grossness. It just tasted so….Thick. Yea, thick. Only way to describe it, didn’t matter how thin I chopped the pieces, it still felt like I was eating a hulking gob of Bullwinkle. That and it had just a different smell. You look at it, and it looks like a dark steak, but it doesn’t smell like steak. It’s not pungent, but it’s not savory either.
Anyway, where was I? Oh right, crow. Of course this whole thing stems from a tweet I sent out last week about how I’d have to eat my crow after I ridiculed the maestro’d pre-season gambling wager (you guys remember Maestro? Didn’t think so, another in a line of part time bloggers with no work ethic), taking Calvin Johnson to lead the league in receiving, hindsight I should have known that he’d go for 700 yards in the final game of the season to win the crown. So I humbly volunteered to eat my crow, and I’ve been thinking about it ever since, should I really try the crow? Is there any where I can buy crow? Either prepared or in like, a frozen breast form or something? Would it need to be video taped? Could that become a whole series for the Tab – A hard hitting investigative series where I uncover the origins and meanings behind every day phrases, I think that could work…of course it would require effort, I’d have to make a list, track down how to go about doing all these random things, and have some assurance that I have an actual audience and am not just making a jackass out of myself pursing some kind of personal Fear Factor like quest, only sans Joe Rogan…I mean what’s the point if Joe Rogan’s not there cheering me on…
SPEAKING of Joe Rogan…have you seen these hilarious tattoo sleeves he must have just gotten for the re-launch of Fear Factor? No? here ya go:
I didn’t know it was possible but he’s now even more ridiculous than he was before. And it really irks me, because how does this guy have a career, and I don’t? Believe me, I’m not saying I’m talented, I’m just saying HE’s not talented…At all.
The guy went from a bit, lovable idiot-type character on News Radio of all shows, parlays that in to a respectable job announcing and analyzing MMA fights, and then single handily torpedoed the funniest show on television at the time, in just one season. I’m talking about The Man Show, of course.
It’s easy to overlook The Man Show if you weren’t it’s target audience but it was easily the funniest and most looked forward to show if you were a stereotypical male aged 14-27 (why 27? Because I’m being honest with myself. I’m 27 now. I feel old, and I feel as if next year will finally be the year where I don’t find immature things funny anymore…at least that’s what I’m assuming) from 1999-2002. It was that damn good. It was, in a different form, the Chapelle Show, before the Chapelle Show. So picture Chapelle, having his mental hissy fit, taking his $50 million dollars over to Africa and buying all of sub-Saharan Africa, or whatever the fuck he did over there, and then Comedy Central replacing him with Nick Cannon and expecting everything to go smoothly. No name change, just The Dave Chapelle Show, starring Nick Cannon. It would fucking suck, right? Because Nick Cannon is in no way funny, right? Well that’s exactly what they did with the Man Show. Removed two of the funniest white men in free-flowing comedy (I don’t know, I don’t feel comfortable calling either of them “stand-up’s), and replaced them with Doug Stanhope (funny but a horrible fit), and Joe Rogan, a man who, even if he had comedic training, which he didn’t, still wouldn’t have been funny.
Oh yea, and he hosted/hosts (because after a 6 year break, apparently the tv world, contrary to what you’d believe, was in a frenzy for more) Fear Factor. A show that rewards impossible douches, and aspiring Hollywood actors (aka no-talent people who moved to Hollywood thinking they were beautiful enough to make it) with airtime and temporary riches, all for a few scares, crashes, swallowing a few bugs, bull testicles, and just maybe, Crow. I hate you Joe Rogan. But if you let me on your show, I will eat my crow.
Double PS: You’re not reading anymore are you? Probably quit after the second or third paragraph and skimmed all the way down here, not realizing that you were hurting my feelings in the process.