Monday, April 23, 2012

Red Sox Fans Pulse Check: Full Fledged Panic

It's time, no more cutesy "don't worry guys, they'll pull out of it," bologna. This team is in serious trouble. Yes their schedule has been tough, yes it gets easier for the next month or so, but none of that changes the fact the Sox could name me the 8th inning reliever and there wouldn't be much of a drop off at all as far as bullpen performance goes. Hell, you could argue the pen would be a little better in the short term, there'd be no scouting reports available on my stuff so it'd take a few outings for the league to catch up to me. I lit up the speed gun at a Sea Dogs game a couple seasons ago, 69 mph of pure gas, put me in coach.

None of that is an exaggeration...the bullpen is seriously bad, and that's not Bobby V's fault. As much as I want to shit on him, as much as I'd like to think it's all his fault and if he weren't here we'd be cruising right along, it's just not true.  All the negativity towards Bobby V this season has been misplaced (with the exception of the Youkilis thing). It's a reaction to the ownership and their handling of Francona. It really hasn't been Bobby's fault, every single person he's turned to out in that pen has failed him at some point or another this season. Every single one. Look at this:

Apologies to Bowden and Atchison who apparently had a good inning or two while I was taking a piss or something, because other than that, every time Bobby's called on the bullpen, I've had to seriously debate turning the game off instead of further torturing myself. It's just gross. (And yes, Bard isn't in the bullpen, honestly, I spent 5 minutes cropping that thing together and realized my mistake and couldn't be bothered to fix it. My logic? He's going to be in the bullpen soon anyway, see below). 

This has led to widespread hysteria on the radios. Debating whether Bard should move back to the bullpen (sure to be a season long story line), as if he'd be able to pitch innings 6-9 every day, news flash people, one man isn't going to fix this smorgasbord of shit the sox have assembled...And that's not even the worst of it. For some unfathomable reason I decided to listen to the Baseball Show on Saturday morning, do you want to know what they discussed for a solid 10 minutes? Aaron Freaking Cook. Panicking because they only have until May 1st to decide whether to bring him to the bigs or cut him. HE'S AARON FREAKING COOK! Listen, I'm sure he's having a great spring against the minor leaguers, but if we're sitting here thinking that Aaron Freaking Cook is going to be a real help to this team, then we badly need a coming to reality moment where we just accept this team is going to more or less suck for the 2012 season, end of story. 

It's a shame too, because the offense can hit. The job they've done while missing 3/3rds of what was supposed to be their starting outfield has been remarkable (not that Bobby will get any credit for that), but the pitching staff might as well bring out the "L" shaped screen if they're going to keep tossing out batting practice every day.

PS: I forgot to touch on the starting pitching, they've sucked too, if you were wondering. Not Doubront though, he's been a revelation.