Urban Dictionary - 1. Pabst Blue Ribbon is a lot like the band Bright Eyes, Hipsters love it, but everyone else thinks its liquid shit.
This shit pisses me off to no end, I'm so sick and tired of Hipsters claiming ownership of the Blue Ribbon, fuck you guys. You don't own PBR, everyone, and I mean everyone in my college used to slug PBR's on the weekends, cheaper than your big 3 (bud, miller, coors), but better tasting than your average swill (keystone and natty), it was the just right choice for a night of getting blitzed in the dorms, it was awesome.
Only problem now is whenever I order one at a bar or pickup a pack at the store I get these looks like, "wait, where's your official uniform? you're not wearing horned rimmed glasses, plaid, ratty canvas shoes, or some kind of ironic shirt/cardigan combo." No, I'm fucking not, how very observant of you. I'm buying this because I enjoy its taste and price combination, not buying it to be ironic, or make a statement about beers. I'm buying it because A) It won a blue ribbon, I don't see other beers celebrating any of their awards on the actual can, and B) It reminds me of getting shitfaced with my friends in college and doing things like mattress surfing down the hallways.
I'm fairly certain if one Hipster saw me ordering a PBR that'd be it, the end of the whole scene, things would instantly go back to normal. They'd see me all casual on the weekend in my Old Navy T-shirt, or maybe right after work in the outfit I grabbed from Kohls, and be like "oh shit, this isn't ironically cool anymore." That's all it'll take, one corporate middle manager, living out a dull, boring existence in his cube every day, ordering up one Pabst and the movement would be over.
Unfortunately, it may be a while before that happens because I have no idea where Hipsters go for their beverages...probably some abandoned underground laundromat that they've illegal converted into a Speakeasy or some shit...I'll tell you where I won't be seeing them, at TGI Fridays with the after work crowd grabbing a beer.
And PS: Don't even think of Occupying The High Life next...I've got that on my resume as well.