Fox News - Occupy Wall Street-inspired protesters are eyeing a new target -- Target. And dozens of other companies. A campaign under the name "Occupy Black Friday" is trying to enlist supporters to boycott just about every major retailer, and quite a few mid-sized ones, the day after Thanksgiving. The protesters are casting a wide net, urging people to demonstrate against the top retail stores -- a list that includes everything from Wal-Mart to Target to Dick's Sporting Goods to Dollar Tree. "The idea is simple, hit the corporations that corrupt and control American politics where it hurts, their profits," the group's Facebook page reads, describing Black Friday as the "one day where the mega-corporations blatantly dictate our actions."
BAAHHAHAHAHAHA...You guys are just messing with us now, right? Like you're trolling us? The occupiers are trying to reason with the most irrational, capitalistic, and materialistic, people on earth? Mom's, girlfriends, and wives that shop on Black Friday. This has to be a joke.
You guys know who you're dealing with here, right? These are people who, for one 12 hour stretch, once a year, put aside all their matron and maternal like instincts as part of some de-evolutionary, primal tradition, and absolutely go savage style, store to store, mall to mall, in search of the perfect, toy, electronic, Ugg, or trinket of the season, mauling anyone who gets in their path, all to save 20%. There was a women in Walmart this morning, who literally pepper sprayed her opponents in order to get some slightly discounted piece of electronics.
And here you are thinking they're just going to boycott it because a bunch of tent people asked them too? You really think your mom wasn't out at Bestbuy at 5 AM this morning? You think that portable DVD player you've been using in your tent was magically dropped out of the sky? No, your mom probably killed someone elses mom in a bloody battle for that dvd player like 5 years ago (she got away with it too, because of a little known loophole that says anything from simple battery up to manslaughter is legal while shopping on Black Friday, true story). That tent you're sleeping in from Dicks Sporting Goods? Your mom camped out rambo style, knife in teeth, war paint on, and absolutely ambushed that store 2 years ago.
But good one guys, I needed a good chuckle today, being bored to death in my cube has been hard work.