The Newspaper - Residents of Austin, Texas may soon have the power to issue parking tickets by taking a few photographs of someone else's car with their smartphones. A unanimous council voted on October 20 to explore the concept of deputizing vigilante meter maids using an iPhone app. Disabled advocates pushed the program at the council meeting in the hopes of guaranteeing easier parking. They were joined by others who were just interested in writing the $511 tickets. "I am a community policer from way back," one resident said at the meeting. "I'm also one of the first code compliance volunteers in my neighborhood... Low income people like me can't even afford a cell phone, so I think if you're going to allow this you should also expand this ordinance to include the ability of the police department and code compliance to purchase smartphones for their volunteers."
This simultaneously titillates me and horrifies me. I mean, I get infuriated when I see some jackass park his car like a total dickhead, taking up two spots, halfway in-halfway out, hugging the line so much that you have to go on a diet to get in and out of your car...It all angers the shit out of me...Like it's no wonder stores like Target and Stop n' Shop have those self blood pressure check machines at the doors, it's so people like me can calm themselves from the verge of a heart attack after dealing with the jackass parking situation in most parking lots...but I digress.
So yes, a part of me would absolutely love this, but the other half of me detests this idea, and its because of people like the one resident who offered up this beauty of a quote "I am a community policer from way back," one resident said at the meeting. "I'm also one of the first code compliance volunteers in my neighborhood."....You're an asshole. This is the kind of person that sees a car parked illegally and phones it in to the police, or worse yet leaves a piece of paper with a note on your windshield. I'd kick this person in the nuts/ovaries if I ever saw them...Everyone illegally parks from time to time, it's the people who park like assholes we should be after, not the person who on occasion blocks a bus lane or fire hydrant because they're running into Dunks and the Dunks on Main Street unfathomably only has two fucking parking spots so every morning its a battle royal to try and snag one so I can get my coffee so that by the time I get to work I'm not a homicidal maniac...but I digress again.
Bottom line, if you're going to do this you need clear and specific rules, and you need to screen for d-bags before allowing them to take part in this. Also, if I'm out there doing the work for meter maids, who have a tit job to begin with, you best believe I want a part of the cut...If you're writing up $511 (and how they came to that number I have no idea) tickets for handicap violators, I want at least $200. Completely serious, I'm not going to do your job for you and not get a cut of the profits, that's horseshit.