As much as I hate myself for borrowing a phrase that has been used amply by the smut peddling douchebag known as El Presidente, I can’t keep quiet on an issue that has aggravated me for quite some time. We see it in those “under the radar” headlines or in pieces of conversations held in our general vicinity, and when we do, our collective consciousness (should) burn with unquenchable rage: The outright catering to the every whim of both the current and younger generation by removing as many facets of risk as possible from their upbringing, known by many as “pussification.” Look, I don’t presume to be the apex of testosterone or a crowning example of a totalitarian household where I had my every move documented under the threat of strict sanctions. I was a regular kid who grew up like most others, but I’ll tell you, like many others, there were problems that we all had to deal with. It seems like there are many who would seek to eliminate these issues, thus giving rise to a legion of spineless, emotionally fragile meatsacks who will have a rude awakening when they realize that the world doesn’t take place inside their comfortable bubble. Here are two of my many culprits, but the one’s I feel like ranting about at the moment
Elimination of Gym/ “Nerfing” of the Best Games
It absolutely drives me up a wall to walk into a middle or high school these days and see a state of the art electronic “daily bulletin” device installed while tumbleweeds and howling winds occupy the gymnasium. No kid gives two fucks about what the daily lunch is or what afterschool clubs are meeting that day. What they (used to, seemingly) enjoy is running around, sweating profusely like Charlie Sheen facing an unattended pile of coke, and being able to get some exercise while building some social skills with their peers. Remember playing gym dodge ball back in the day? THAT was some real shit. Either you had your head on a swivel and were as agile as a ninja, or there was a 100 % chance of receiving a black and blue checkered welt from a red rubber ball plastered across your facial features. Everyone loved playing, even the girls who would pretend to be on their period to get out of every other game. Now, most school districts have outright BANNED the game of dodge ball from their class because “someone might get hurt” or “it’s unfair to certain children.” Yeah, it’s unfair to the kid who inhales a deep fried twinkie and bacon sandwich for lunch then mysteriously finds himself out of breath after stretching. But for god’s sake, if gym was anything, it was an incentive to be good at the games you played. If you were the worst kid at “Capture the Flag” you busted ass out at recess trying to get better. Nope, not anymore, we might hurt someone’s feelings if they might actually….GASP…not be good at something! There is such an obsession with hiding kids from failure that there is a lack of realization that by not exposing kids to the lack of success early, we are setting them up to be poorly equipped to deal with it when it inevitably occurs. But hey, at least you have that fancy state of the art bulletin board, right schools? Fuck that. Consider this my outcry to bring back “REAL” gym class.
Political Correctness Taking Precedence over Pragmatism/Reality
You can’t say shit anymore without some supercilious prick giving you a scathing look or arrogantly declaring, “Um, that’s not P.C, its actually termed (insert stupid smug bullshit term here) now.” Like just the other day, some clearly drunk, out of his mind, homeless guy started emphatically garbling incoherent nonsense, of which all I could decipher was, “EYYY Yuu whiii muhhfukka” and shaking his cup at me menacingly. I was rightfully pissed off and said something to the effect, “Dude, get out of my way.” Then, to the buddy I was with, “Man, that bum was a pain in the ass huh?” Some woman, walking the other way from me, TURNED AROUND and tapped me on the shoulder, acidly whispering, “Young man, that is a person experiencing homelessness, how dare you be so insensitive?!?” Are you shitting me? We have to have a G-rated label for the guy who I was legitimately worried might cause me bodily harm? At no point did I condemn him for having a rough life nor make fun of the plight of people in his situation are in either. It sucks and it’s a deeply rooted sociological issue with no easy solution. But this drunken asshole qualified as a bum to me, and I’ll be damned if I call a dude like that “a person experiencing homelessness” It’s absolutely asinine that everyone is so damned ego and perception conscious that we have to literally institute an ultra strict filter on our words because it can actually cost people significant gains these days, like promotions, jobs, or grant money. A perfect example of this is when Tom Brady this past weekend told fans of the Patriots to get “lubed up” (translation: as drunk and rowdy as humanly possibly”) Yet, despite the fact that every team, every fan, every person in this entire country knows that this is EXACTLY the ritual that takes place when tail gaiting, a PR stunt was needed to assuage the “damage” that such a statement could have caused. Oh no, the humanity, football fans are going to be outraged that a player told them to do what they were planning on doing all along. Look, there is a time and place for being sensitive and cognizant of what you say. But this utter dumb fuckery of shielding ourselves from possibly offending ANYONE is idiotic paranoia of the highest order. All right, easy Sean, end your rant here before you break something.