OCEANSIDE — A bizarre scene unfolded inside a discount store in Oceanside Wednesday afternoon as a 66-year-old white woman, intent on buying things for “poor Mexican women” paid for $5,000 worth of clothing purchased by about 50 women. The night before, Claudia Smith, who lives in the neighborhood, had walked into the same store, and bought $2,200 worth of clothing for a handful of customers.... The question was why. The answer, very confusing. At times Wednesday, Smith screamed out “Aye, Aye Aye Aye, Ayeeeeee!” while standing in the store...“You’d better laugh when I’m around!” she yelled. She loudly proclaimed her love for Mexican women. She used profanities directed at men in a steady stream, then moments later held a toddler in her arms. Smith said she has been “drinking and drugging” since she was 15. She said she was not under the influence Wednesday, but admitted she suffered through a five-month long alcohol and drug blackout not long ago and had entertained suicidal thoughts. Store manager Paola Garcia said Smith walked into the store Tuesday night and told the handful of customers inside to buy whatever they wanted. There were just a few people there, and they bought everything they could get their hands on. Nothing in the store sells for more than $9.99. At one point Smith screamed at one woman, “Get out, Get out,” apparently because she wasn’t from Mexico. Almost the next moment she was holding a small child telling the girl how much she loved her.
This might be my favorite story I've ever read, just hysterical nugget after hysterical nugget. But there is almost too much going on to even blog about it. I mean you got this woman buying up the store at some Dollar Mart or something like that and giving all the shit to exclusively Mexican women, calling out non-mexicans, screaming out "undelay undelay, arrrrreeeeebaaa like Speedy Fucking Gonzalez, and telling small children she loves them for good measure.
I guess the one question I'm left with is, is she serious or is she making fun of these Federali Motel Maids? I don't particularly care either way, its just two different types of comedy depending on the answer.
If she's dead serious then the jokes about her and how absolutely bat shit crazy she is, rolling up in her Lexus and making it rain cheap fabric garments on these Migrant Worker Wives.
If she's making fun of them, well this might be the most philanthropic dark joke of all time.
PS: How did a $7K spending spree not wipe out this store? Like how much inventory of cheap shit clothing can you possibly keep in stock?
That's all folks, have a great weekend, I'm off celebrating my birthday in style in Newport...See yaaaa.