WASHINGTON -- An international flight was escorted back to Washington, D.C., by U.S. Air Force F-16 fighter jets after an argument between two passengers over a reclining seat erupted into a brawl, The Washington Post reported late Tuesday. According to sources, not long after the Ghana-bound United Airlines Boeing 767 -- with 144 passengers on board -- took off from Dulles International Airport at 10:44 p.m. local time Sunday, one passenger reclined his seat into the lap of the person behind. A fight broke out -- with one passenger striking the other in the head -- before a flight attendant and fellow passenger intervened. A United spokesman told the Post that the pilot was unsure of the extent of the in-flight incident and decided, for safety's sake, to go back to Dulles. As the plane returned, an air traffic controller asked about the passenger at the center of the disturbance, with pilots replying, "The passenger is not secured at this time; the passenger has settled down, though, but an assault has taken place, but at this time he is not secured."
Think the US military might be a bit on edge? Easy guys, I know you're itching for action, predator drones and robots taking up all the glory overseas, but maybe you wanna relax a bit, take a xanex and real it in for a while?
It was an argument over someone reclining their seat, of course it led to a fight. I get in like 3 fights per flight over seating positions, never thought it would lead to a Def-Con 5 status alert like a scene straight out of Con-Air.
Three fights you ask? Yes three. One with the jerkoff in front of me who decides he's going to recline 3.5 seconds after boarding, didn't even have time to stow my shit under the seat in front of me. Another fight with the inconsidered prick behind me who has the nerve to mutter under his breath after I recline, like "hey buddy, this asshole in front of me is reclining, I gotta recoup my personal space some how." And third, the endless battle for elbow room...you didn't think of that one did you?
Everyone always thinks of the reclining seats battle, but really that shit is the minor leagues, either someone reclines their seat or they don't, there's really no give and take. The real battleground lies on the armrests, where battles are one and lost over as simple an action as a common bodily function like a sneeze or cough...go to cover your mouth and your upper hand is gone. That's why I never cover up on a plane for the first sneeze. I like to set precedent right then and there that I'm going to do everything it takes to maintain control of this armrest. Even give a little bit of crazy eyes after the sneeze, "like yea I just shot snot all over the cabin, and I'm willing to do it again in order to protect this house." I play for keeps when flying.