Friday, April 15, 2011
Daily Mail - It may not be exactly what the legendary bandit had in mind - but this Vietnamese woman does not seem to care. Ha Vasko, 68, is accused of pickpocketing. But not just any pickpocketing: Vasko is accused of flying all the way from her $400,000 home in Florida, where she lives with her wealthy husband, to New York's Chinatown, where she then allegedly robs only the Chinese - and gives her ill-gotten gains to the needy. Vasko apparently hates the Chinese. 'They cheat, and they are greedy and are on welfare,' she told the New York Post. Vasko's pickpocketing rampage through New York is believed to have begun last June, when she allegedly stole $500 from a Chinese woman. Over the next nine months she was arrested four times, the last time on March 21. Vasko admitted that she herself has Chinese blood, and told the Post she does not know why she hates them so much. At least three times she allegedly walked from appearing in a Manhattan court straight back out on the street to pickpocket again. There are fears she has struck more than 100 times. After one arrest, apparently worried she would miss her Delta flight home, Vasko allegedly told a police officer she would give him $1,000 to let her get on the plane. Bribery was promptly added to the list of charges against her.
You have to love her blunt honesty, she doesn't know why she hates the Chinese, but she's damn sure they're doing something wrong. I have one question for her though, how does she know they're Chinese? Can Asians tell other Asians apart? Seems unreasonable. I mean if you line up a hick from Oklahoma and a dude from like Florida, I'm not going to be able to tell them apart.
I'll tell you why she hates them though, its because they're the only racial group that get's their own designated towns these days. Like I get that there is a billion of you and you're busting out the seams in your own country, but don't you think that the Vietnamese would like to have a "Vietnamese Town" or the Laoseans and Cambodians would like their own towns (I mean, yea they have Lowell, but its not like town officials are going to let them up and change the name).
China Town is bullshit. Greedy bastards taking the naming rights to their few blocks of squalor. You aren't the only orientals in town guys.
I think we should ease up on the Robin Hood comparisons though. As far as I know Robin Hood never got caught, and certainly didn't get caught like every other week for a year. I don't even think that can be referred to as pickpocketing. Pickpockets are sneaky. This lady is just out and out mugging people. Respectable, but Robin Hood she aint.
|Yep, That's a Whale Dick|
LONDON – In life, Pall Arason sought attention. In death, he is getting it: The 95-year-old Icelander's pickled penis will be the main attraction in one of his country's most bizarre museums. Sigurdur Hjartarson, who runs the Phallological Museum in the tiny Icelandic fishing town of Husavik, said Arason's organ will help round out the unusual institution's extensive collection of phalluses from whales, seals, bears and other mammals. "I have just been waiting for this guy for 15 years," he told The Associated Press in a brief telephone interview. Highlights of the museum's collection include a 170-centimeter (67-inch) sperm whale penis preserved in formaldehyde, lampshades made from bull testicles and what the museum described as an "unusually big" penis bone from a Canadian walrus. Hjartarson, 69, said his interest in what he calls "phallology" began when, as a youngster in rural Iceland, he was given a whip made from a bull's penis to help him herd cattle. Later, when he worked at a school near a whaling station, colleagues brought him whale penises as gifts. "That was how it started. I opened this museum 15 years ago with 62 specimens," he said. Now, with the addition of Arason's organ, he has 276, many suspended in formaldehyde or dried and mounted on the walls. Photos posted to the museum's website show small army of ghostly, whitish penises stuffed into jars, tall glass cylinders and large aquariums. There are sculptures, molds and other penis-related craft items. Outside, the museum has a large tree trunk carved into the shape of an erect phallus.
What a quirky little culture they got up there, just giving out different species' of penis as gifts. Like, hey thanks, but maybe next time just a gift card to Applebees or something will do fine?
Perhaps you want to re-word that quote about waiting for this guy's dick for 15 years bro? I don't know what's creepier, the fact that you've been waiting out this guys death, or the fact that you're excited about getting your hands on his lifeless schlong, when it's all phallic.
This is the kind of guy the Icelandic FBI 100% needs to have their eyes on 24 hours a day. Dried up dicks hanging on his wall, unusually long penis bones (yea penis bones) just collecting dust mounted on walls, and a fucking 5 1/2 foot whale cock suspended in fluid...I can't imagine this guy's ever made it to the second date with a girl, or dude for that matter. "Hey what do you do for a living?" "Oh, I mount cocks on the wall." Yea that'll play over real well.
PS: I dare you not to chuckle at the phrase, "Pickled Penis."
Ashton Kutcher's Anti Sex Slavery PSA's Make Me Laugh, Which I'm Guessing is not the Intended Result
So I guess I should probably blog about these Demi Moore/Ashton Kutcher, anti child sex slavery commercials that are all the rage this week. To be honest I was just trying to ignore it, I didn't care at all, but Ashton seems to have some kind of hypnotic pull on mainstream media and his shit appears everywhere all the time, it's ridiculous.
The problem with these advertisements? Ashton just can't help but be a hipster. Can't help it. Like am I supposed to laugh at the above video? Is the child sex trade all of a sudden a goofy matter that the folks at Break! or FunnyorDie should be mocking up videos for? Are Hipsters out there buying and selling underage girls for sex? Is that the target here?
Who out there didn't laugh when you saw a framed picture of Kaka with the caption "real man." Feathery bangs, soccer player, named Kaka (like poop if you're not as juvenile as me and aren't following). It's clearly aimed to making me laugh, right? It's a ridiculously bizarre video.
So while I support the cause, it's great, maybe someone a bit more mature should be leading the cause? Not a guy that spends his days twittering pics of his wife's granny-pantied ass and scheming ways to prank his butt buddy Justin? Really, no offense, it's just that the hardened sex trade King Pins in Eastern Europe aren't exactly going to be quaking in their boots after these videos. I'm not even sure they're going to understand that it's pointed at them to be honest.
|Great Photoshop job, b/c there is no way these two like eachother|
Fox News - "I have a great relationship with the blacks," Donald Trump said on an Albany, N.Y. radio station Thursday morning. "I've always had a very great relationship with the blacks. But unfortunately, it seems the numbers that you cite are very, very frightening numbers." The numbers Trump is referring to are part of a Quinnipiac poll released Wednesday. It shows 95 percent of black voters in New York State approve of how Barack Obama is handling his job as president. Only 4 percent do not. In sharp contrast, of white voters polled, 42 percent approve of the job the president is doing, while 53 percent do not. "I think it's a pretty sad poll when you see that," Trump said, pointing to the 2008 election outcome. "When you look at Hillary Clinton, Hillary Clinton did so much for the black population, so much, and she got very few votes." "One would always hope that votes are on the basis of merit," Dicker responded, "Not on race or anything."
Oh Donald, no, no no. I really wanted this to work out, I did. But you can't go around calling attention to your biggest weakness (aside from a lack of political correctness and an appealing hairstyle) like that and expect to run a country, just isn't going to happen.
Take me for example. I'm not running around work trying to convince my bosses that I'm not on the internet all the time. That would be foolish, next thing you know they'd be creeping on my cube randomly just to try and verify my facts. That's the last thing I need. I'm on the net from the minute I step in the office. Sometimes even earlier, I just leave ESPN open so I don't need to waste time double clicking and typing in the address the next morning.
Similarly, you shouldn't be calling your relationship with blacks into the limelight. People are going to check your facts, they're going to notice all the low income housing neighborhoods your casinos and high rises have bull dozed and gentrified. And they're certainly going to notice the fact that just last week you were calling into question the citizenship of our nation's first black president.
And don't think that thinly veiled shot at blacks being racist for supporting Obama over Hillary is going to go unnoticed now either.
Freaking A', Donald. It's almost like you have no political training or experience whatsoever...oh wait, you don't.
Man Marries a Hooker, Hooker and Reverend Steal His Cash and Run Off Together, Who Could Have Forseen That?
My Fox - One South Carolina man may disagree, however, after he married a woman within hours of meeting her only for his bride to steal his cash and run off with the reverend who carried out the nuptials. The 58-year-old groom is believed to have fallen victim to a scam cooked up by the pair, The (Rock Hill) Herald reported Thursday. He told police he called a friend on Saturday night to ask if he "knew any girls that he could meet for companionship." His friend then introduced him to a woman at a local motel in Rock Hill, 25 miles (40 kilometers) south of Charlotte, and the couple called a man who claimed to be a reverend at Rock Hill Chaplin services to marry them. The victim says he paid $100 for the wedding service, then left to go to a store. When he returned home from his shopping trip, his new wife and $600 hidden under his TV were gone. He believes the woman and man who married them stole his money, the police report said.
I don't even know where to begin. The fact that he married a hooker 30 minutes after meeting her (In case you're wondering, the appropriate amount of time to know a hooker before wedding her is NEVER. They're not even real people.)? The fact that he found a Reverend that he'd never met before but was willing to come to marry a 58 yr old perv and his prostitute in a rent by the minute motel, and thought this gentleman would be trustworthy?
No, I'll start with the fact that Hombre here was hiding his cash under the TV. WTF? You hide your cash under your mattress bro, or if posture is an issue then you go to an old coffee can. If neither of those works for you then as a last resort you use a bank, but that's rather old fashion if you ask me. You never use the TV. Who the hell wants to watch a slanted TV? That would drive me insane, plus it'll lead to serious neck cramps.
So actually, all in all this Reverend and his hooker bride did this guy a favor. $600 is cheap when you consider the chiropractor bills this guy was inevitably going to pay if he kept watching the TV on a slant. I guess sometimes general stupidity will work out for you.
Wow, you've sold me. I've never once thought about flying Virgin America for anything, I immediately went to their site this morning just to see their domestic routes. Basically for about a 15 minute span I was willing to fly anywhere they could take me.
Frigen Brits, apparently they know how to do it lately. Call for 100 girls to shop in their underwear at the mall? Check. Show off attractive stewardess' long after all the American airlines started hiring men and old ladies to move themselves away from the sexist stigma? Check.
By the way, apparently Virgin Airlines absolutely crushes Youtube. Check out their page, lots of entertaining stuff (not angling for a free ticket or anything guys).