Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Childbride Courtney Stodden Getting A Reality Show

Fox 411- Courtney Stodden is the 17-year-old girl who married 51-year-old actor Doug Hutchison … when she was 16. They announced Wednesday that they have been snapped up to film a reality show. “They are going to be very, very open about their lives,” Courtney’s mom told RadarOnline.com. “They want everybody to see their life. Nothing is off limits.”

I'm delighted and horrified all at the same time...let me say this first, this girl is going to be a train wreck. Part Jessica Simpson, part Anna Nicole Smith watching her struggle to comprehend simple daily tasks like how to turn on the hot water knob in the shower, how to order food at a drive through, and how to chew gum and walk at the same time is going to be fantastic...That said, this girl is going to be a train wreck and we might have a legitimate chance at seeing someone die on camera during a reality show for the first time. Whether it's by some kind of crazy murder suicide pact, or when she accidentally catches her extensions on fire attempting to cook Mac & Cheese for the first time, this has a real chance of happening.

On another note, Courtney's twitter stream is an absolute must read...It's like she's walking around with some kind of Erotic Novel Writers Thesaurus all day. Just cramming an assortment of sultry adjectives together to some how form a confusing, semi-erotic 140 character message, for example:

Had a beautifully busy day today, all based around my HOT & upcoming reality show! Are you all ready for it?

Lickin a sucker as I boisterously bounce UP & down on the bed while drenched in a soak ‘n wet white mini-T & pink panties; Feelin Dangerous!

Had a bodily breakfast in bed this morning; It was so tasteful… Just like sweet syrupy pancakes completed with a lush creamy filling. Yum!

Sweetly fetching a tasty bone to my precious lil’ pink pooch Bazaar out back, as the sultriness of the day gently begins to heighten. Mmm…

I am going to get drilled today… & I’ll keep my mouth open the entire time. I’ll be a good girl… I promise. Mmm… I LOVE the Dentist!

Maybe you wanna hire a personal tweeter, preferably someone that can form coherent sentences.