Thursday, September 1, 2011

Cape Cod Woman Raking $100K A Year with Upscale Porta Potty's

- Name: Eliza Kendall
Job: Luxury porta-potty business owner
Salary: $100,000 to $120,000
Age: 54
Hometown: Harwich, Mass.

CNN - I never thought I would end up in septic. I started out working as an event organizer for a lot of top companies, until I saw a little porta-potty business for sale. I realized that there was really nothing out there that combined porta potties with upscale events. So I bought the business, which came with six porta potties and a little trailer with a men's and women's room in it. Being brought up in a wealthier area, I understand understated elegance. It's not shag red rugs and plastic flowers -- it's cleanliness and things like fresh water in the toilets, lattice work, fresh flower sprays to keep it smelling nice and motion-activated lighting. I even have my own line of amenities like lip balm and lotion that I put next to the sinks. I started going into Ritz-Carlton bathrooms to see what they do different from a Motel 6 and that's what I would do with my porta potties.

The fact that this lady shelling luxury shit houses makes more money than me has seriously forced me to reconsider my line of work...and yea, I know I've said this before, but those were just empty threats, this time I've been pushed over the edge. Like I didn't waste 4 years in college hoping for a profitable career only to watch some upper class wasp get rich pushing her hoity-toity porta potty's on her pretentious Cape Cod friends, its ridiculous.

Like how does that even work? Do rich peoples shits really stink less than us commoners? Gotta be it. Because you can paint the shitter whatever color you please, change the air fresheners hourly, and play soothing music for ambience, at the end of the day its a plastic carton that multiple people have pissed and shit in while baking all day in the sun. It's going to smell, and it's going to smell bad.

Bottom line, if this lady can trick her rich friends into shelling out a few extra bucks for a 4x6 room to poop in, I'm sure I can come up with something to swindle a few bucks out of those tight asses.