Friday, February 4, 2011

Why Woman Will Never Rule the World, Reason No. 43: Tampon Shortages

NEW YORK (CNNMoney) -- Women nationwide are searching high and low for a special kind of tampon that has been missing from shelves since the explanation as to why the tampons -- which have a cult-like following thanks to their small profile and lack of an applicator -- were off the shelves in the first place..."I've spent about 3 hours driving between 6 different stores today and yesterday, in heavy traffic, looking for OB tampons," one discouraged o.b. fan wrote in an online forum. "I couldn't find any at all, in any size!"Because the product is so unique, the shortage has led to a black market. While a box of o.b. tampons costs $7.49 at Rite Aid, eBay users have posted starting bids of as much as $130 for four boxes, taking advantage of the limited supply.

It's things like this that keep men in the majority of the power positions in America.  No one is going to follow a leader who's spending their afternoons frantically speeding between drug stores looking for tampons and pads, shits insane.  Can you even imagine rushing into your CEO's office only to find that she's too busy to comment on your company's upcoming merger because she's in a bidding war with some 15 year old high schooler over the last box of tampons on Ebay?  Sorry, that just can't be taken seriously.

And Tampon fan forums? I've tried for about two hours but cannot think of anything that remotely fits the male equivalent to that level of bat shit crazy.  I can confirm however that the thought of searching for a toilet paper message board or beard trimmer online support group has never entered my mind.  Meanwhile Jane Doe is out there in cyberspace twittering people about her favorite female products that fit her lifestyle best.

And for the record, I do not want to meet the bitch that is willing to pay $130.00 for tampons.  She must be an absolute brute each month.