Friday, November 12, 2010
Slumdog Soldier - A reality television series that offers the winner the chance to serve as an Indian army peacekeeper is attracting huge numbers of aspiring soldiers, The Australian reported Friday.
Sounds thrilling. Whats second prize? A chance to live in a real life Haitian village?
Don't forget to update your status - A Florida teenager was arrested late Sunday after burglarizing a home and forgetting to log off of his MySpace account on one of the home’s computers, the South Florida Sun-Sentinel reported.
Why can't anyone go about their daily business these days without updating the rest of us to their status? You're not that interesting. What could he possibly have had to say? "Just committed a first class B&E, LOL." I just hope for his sake they get wifi or at least 3g service in prison. Wouldn't want to miss out on any potential updates or tweets from the big house like, "Mush again for dinner" or "anal rape is the worst."
Google Starts War (no really, a real one) - First, Google Search. Then, Google News. Now . . . Google Wars? Google Maps is fixing an error in its map of Central America that gave Nicaraguan commanders an excuse to invade a disputed area also claimed by Costa Rica.
The bigger question, does anyone actually care what goes on in Nicaragua and Costa Rica? Apparently not since we've just collectively decided that it can be the Beta testing ground for viral web wars. And who knew Nicaragua would take the internet so seriously? Most people just sound off on message boards and comment sections annonymously when they're instigated, apparenly Nicaraguans are just more cutthroat than the rest of us.
Fired over Facebook - In what labor officials and lawyers view as a ground-breaking case involving workers and social media, the National Labor Relations Board has accused a company of illegally firing an employee after she criticized her supervisor on her Facebook page.
Shit you can get fired for that? Good thing I only gripe about my job on my personal blog. I'd be in some serious trouble.
Hate Waiting? - A nation renowned for the art of queuing may be losing its patience, a survey has shown, with the average British adult able to stand in line for only 10 minutes and 42 seconds before tempers start to fray. The most loathed lines were in supermarkets, followed by the Post Office and airport check-in and security.
10 minutes?! My temper flares if I'm forced to come to a complete stop at an intersection. And forget the post office (my views on that here), I can't even wait for the ATM. If I see a person in line at the ATM I just drive off or walk out. I'm not waiting 30 seconds for you to conduct your transaction.
OH YEA, TANNING BEDS, YEA - One of Russia's most notorious prisons will soon install sunbeds to improve the health of its inmates, its head said on Tuesday. Styled as a brick fortress, the 19th century Butyrka prison in central Moscow has held a slew of notable figures behind its bars, from persecuted Soviet-era writers Alexander Solzhenitsyn and Isaak Babel to Adolf Hitler's nephew Heinrich.
What happened to the Russia I knew and Loved? Where is the Steel Curtain, the Iron Fist. The Russia I knew didn't even have jails, they just shipped out prisoners to the cold woods of Siberia, by the time the inmates were able to walk back to civilization their time was up. Death sentences were for those too weak to make the journey home. Now they're providing tanning beds? Crazy world we live in.
What better blog for a Friday than a list of gripes I've accumulated over the last week or so. I'd title it Grinds My Gears but I'm guessing I'd get hit with a lawsuit from Seth McFarlane (If he could find my site), and we here at The Alt-Tab couldn't handle that at this point.
-Why are there so many check out aisles at Target? Seriously, there are at least 20 at any Target I've been to yet I've never seen more than three open. Doesn't matter the time of day or how busy the store is, three is the best you're going to do. And you just know this means you're getting stuck behind someone that decided Target was a good place to buy their entire wardrobe for the year. Don't even bother trying to change lanes, the other two are just as bad, probably someone haggling over a price check and the final one buying back to school items (it doesn't matter the time of year in Target, they are always running deals on back to school items and dorm furniture, it's one of the bigger mysteries in retail sales out there).
-Why don't car washes advertise half off specials on rainy days? Their current options are close or open with no business, why not get some customers in at half price? Its not like it costs them anything. I'd dare say car washes have the biggest mark-up of any car related service, its just an intricate hose and some dish soap, you could charge $2 a car and probably turn a profit. I'd take them up on the offer. Sure rain appears to clean your car, your hood, trunk and windows all look clean, but 9 times out of 10 the sides still look like shit.
-Does any other kind of store cause more arguments between couples and cause more heartburn in general than supermarkets? Between the crowds, the people with carriages stuffed so high they can't see around them, the insane lines at the deli, and the fact that the aisles are wide enough for exactly 1.5 carriages causing chaos all over the store, its enough to stress anyone out. Couples arguing over what to get, how much to get, and the most efficient way to get the hell of out their quickly. And finally the checkout clerks who ask if I have a stop n' shop card like its some kind of exclusive club. No I don't have the stupid card, now just swipe the store copy and give me the discount like you always do. Damn.
-Parents bringing their kids to the store and letting them run free like its a playground or day care. This applies mainly to Walmart but can be applied to grocery stores and Target as well. The offenders tend to be of foreign descent, but there is also a smattering of white trash hillbillies that do this too, depending on your location. How about doing some parenting? Or at the very least leave them at home, turn on the TV or XBox, or even tell your fat 10 year old son to go outside and get some real exercise for an hour or so while you run to the store. I'm stressed enough that I have to pay something ridiculous like $50 for a pack of razors, I don't want to have to bob-and-weave around all of your unruly children so you can wander the store looking for roll back prices.
-Finally, day light savings doesn't save shit. The sun is glaring into my cube from 3-3:30 every day and its dark by 4pm. That shit is depressing. I literally spend an hour a night just thinking about how much it sucks to get out of work in the dark. It's one of the more unproductive hours of my day, all due to day light savings time.
What are your gripes? Leave some in the comments section.
Anyone else as shocked as me? I didn't know Family Feud had a black host. Thought this was as white an institution in America as NASCAR. Must have lost half their viewers when this change was made. Not me, I'm going to make it a point to tune in now just to learn some new 5 step hand shakes.
What? You thought I was going to blog about his naked grandma answer? Why? I wouldn't want to see that shit either, seems reasonable to me.