Special Thursday Edition
Sky Lifter – These guys had to have come up with this while watching Up, right? Since I assume as a general rule of thumb that only stoners would attempt to recreate a fantastical cartoon in real life, I have to believe this is horrible idea destined for failure.
Hoe-Running Judge – Dude is a straight pimp. Doesn’t even need to buy a judge either, he’s got that covered. Only mistake was trusting a stripper, everyone knows they’ll sell you up the river first chance they get, they don’t even have souls.
Another Day, Another Foreign Politician Kicking Ass – Seriously Obama, can you give us at least one action shot? Save a cat from a tree? Help an old woman across the street? We need something; you’re making us look soft.
Vigilanty Justice – It’s about time someone finally took a stand against this look. This aint the early 90’s anymore, you don’t see me rocking a fanny pack and Reebok pumps do you? Gangbangers have had the same played out look for years and society has finally had enough. Kenneth E. Bonds was just the man to take the first stand. He’ll no doubt be remembered as a fashion hero.
Vigilanty Justice II – Remind me not to speed through Belmont. Screw overpaid police details and speed traps. The state wants to save money, just have this woman go town to town training emotionally unstable and unemployed mothers and wives on the finer arts of dung throwing. I’ve received two speeding tickets in my life and a couple of close call warnings but I still treat the speed limit as a general suggestion, I can tell you for certain that the first time I’m hit with a steamy pile of dog doo would absolutely be the last.